the missing link~

You know, I’m usually your average tough guy, the kinda guy who can cope up with a lot of shit without having mental or physical breakdowns.

Huge rant ahead, you have been warned.

But I believe I’ve taking a fair (and I wonder how much is fair in this particular case) amount of shit. This might come out a little cryptic and out the blue, but for the past few days I have been somewhat depressed. I can quite put my finger on it yet. But I know it’s there, the feeling of something not being right, of me not being at the top of my game. Of me being down. And like everybody else, I don’t like feeling or being down.

Some people have tried to cheer me up, I mean, tears came out when I watched Marty in 1985 perform “Johnny B. Goode” you know something is not right when that happens (I mean tears do come out when I watch BTTF but only when the Libyans kill Doc Brown) and well that was what kinda did it for me. I finally had a lil break down. And I’m cool with it, I acknowledge it. I believe it was somewhat needed.

Still, I don’t know how or why it happened. I mean, I do know why it happened, I honestly do, but it’s not so simple as one reason, it’s more like a long list of shit that I don’t want to remember. But saying that will not make the list go away automagically, no matter how much I want it to go.

I know what I want, I’m sure of that, so that’s a step ahead, I know how to fix most of the crap around me, but that will take time. And there we go again, a concept I hate. Time. But there’s nothing we can do about it, right?

So, what I have to do is wait. Wait till this god damn year is over. It’s either do or die now Mr. Two-Thousand-Nine. Either you get your shit straight and come up with an awesome finale or die a horrible horrible death and make way for brand new, shiny, (hopefully far better) Mr. Two-Thousand-Ten. *cheers*

Either way we’ll have to wait. And I don’t like waiting. Also, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

For now, the only thing that managed to cheer me up was listening to the Hikaru No Go OST.

kaze ni fukare nagara!~

Tags: 2009, 2010, avi ben stella, Dear, do or die, hikaru no go, life, love, make or break, shitty

This entry was posted on Monday, October 5th, 2009 at 10:36 PM and is filed under Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.