You know, I haven’t been me these past few days, still, I still think this is the right thing to do. Several people have done what they had to do and I’ve let em. Because I’m stupid like that. And that’s good, because I have no intentions of letting it happen, ever again.
I’m well aware on the fact that the mistakes I’ve made are solely and entirely my fault, and most likely a direct result of the karma. But I will not give karma any more reasons or even opportunities to fuck with me. I’m ending things the way I see fit now, you can say that the “demi-god” but hey, when he was in charge bad things did not happen. As opposed to this year. That’s the downside of becoming vulnerable, I guess.
With that off my chest, here’s something from my very own son Jayson. I love the little guy, really. He can always cheer me up.
Rudyard Kipling
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!
I need time with myself. A lot of time. I will get myself back on track, everyone else can, kindly, just go fuck themselves.
I want this year to end so badly, can’t wait for next year, seriously. Here’s to new beginnings and better perspectives.
cheers~
Tags: 2010, angels, fuck you, karma, poems
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